Sunday Funny LinkedIn POV Opinion Piece

I live beneath the headline.

You know the place: Robert Kuypers’s LinkedIn profile, just below the headshot that gets clicked, the banner that gets noticed, and the headline that gets searched.

I am the About section.

The longest thing on the page that nobody finishes.

I’m an unpublished memoirist trapped in a text box. A novelist with a 2,600-character ceiling. A bartender listening to everyone’s career confessions while pretending not to judge the garnish.

And I have been cut off mid-sentence by “See more” since 2019.

My unfinished sentence is probably about restaurant systems, leadership, technology, or the time somebody tried to run a multi-unit operation using three spreadsheets, a sticky note, and “vibes.”

Ready? Aprons on.

Sunday Thought No. 1: “See More” Is My Personal Greek Tragedy

The first three lines of an About section are displayed before LinkedIn folds the rest behind See more.

This is not a user interface.

This is a public execution.

Imagine a restaurant menu where the appetizer, entrée, and dessert are hidden behind a fold. The guest sees:

“We specialize in helping restaurants…”

Then the menu folds.

The good stuff (proof, personality, useful detail, the actual reason someone should call) disappears into the darkness.

A strong About section needs a hook that works before the fold. Not a corporate throat-clearing exercise. Not “I am a passionate, results-driven professional.”

I have opened with that sentence more times than I can count. I would like a lawyer.

Try this instead:

Restaurants don’t usually fail because the food is bad. They fail because the systems underneath the food can’t carry the weight of the business.

That gives the reader a reason to click.

Then tell them what you do, who you help, and what changes because you showed up.

Harvard Business Review’s guidance on telling a professional story on LinkedIn makes the same basic point: a profile should offer a coherent story, not a motley buffet of disconnected achievements.

The hook opens the door. The rest of the section has to give people a reason to walk in.

A folded restaurant menu hiding its best dishes, representing the LinkedIn See more truncation

Sunday Thought No. 2: I Have Survived Every LinkedIn Guru

Keep it short!

Tell your whole story!

Use emojis!

Never use emojis!

Write in first person!

Write like a brand!

Add personality!

Be more professional!

I have been rewritten in first person, then third person, then first person again. I’ve been converted into a bullet list, then returned to paragraphs at 2:00 a.m. after Robert apparently discovered a new content framework.

At one point, I contained the word synergy.

I have never forgiven myself.

I’ve also watched people paste their entire résumés into their About sections. Every job since 2005. Every software certification. Every title from a product that no longer exists and may have been discontinued because it was terrible.

Then there are the 14 identities separated by pipes:

Restaurant Executive | Investor | Speaker | Mentor | Builder | Strategist | Innovator | Father | Husband | Coffee Enthusiast | Disruptor | Visionary | Dog Person | Excited to Announce

Please stop.

You are not a human being. You are a deli counter.

The better approach is simple:

  • Use first person.
  • Keep paragraphs short.
  • Include three to five meaningful keywords.
  • Add proof with numbers where possible.
  • Explain the problem you solve.
  • End with a specific call to action.

LinkedIn’s own profile guidance supports clarity, relevance, and a profile that helps people understand your professional value.

For hospitality leaders, that might include terms such as:

  • Restaurant systems pro
  • Multi-unit operations
  • Digital transformation
  • Guest experience
  • POS and API integration
  • Restaurant growth strategy
  • Team leadership
  • Brand development

Keywords are useful.

Keyword confetti is not.

Sunday Thought No. 3: The About-Section Crime Scene

I keep a mental list of the worst crimes committed in my neighborhood.

Crime No. 1: The Third-Person Self-Description

Robert is a visionary leader who brings strategic innovation to organizational excellence.

Robert is not a museum exhibit.

If a profile sounds like it was written by a publicist who has never met the person, readers will feel the chill immediately. First person is usually warmer, clearer, and more credible.

Crime No. 2: Copy-Pasted Company Boilerplate

At ABC Hospitality Solutions, we are committed to delivering best-in-class solutions for our valued stakeholders.

That sentence has the emotional range of a refrigerated breadstick.

The About section should explain the person behind the company, not repeat the “About Us” page with the serial numbers filed off.

Crime No. 3: “Reach Out If You’re Interested in Working Together!”

Interested in what?

Restaurant design? Tip management software? Video analytics for restaurants? Group purchasing organizations in food service? A new POS? A rescue mission for a failing bar program?

Tell people what kind of conversation you want.

Harvard Business Review’s advice on what to say when reaching out on LinkedIn reinforces a useful principle: specific context creates better conversations.

Crime No. 4: The Emoji Smoothie Menu

🚀 Strategy
🔥 Growth
💡 Innovation
🍔 Leadership
📈 Results
🌱 Synergy

This is not a professional narrative. This is a smoothie order.

One or two visual cues can help scanning. Forty-seven emojis suggest the profile is being held hostage by a branding agency.

A restaurant office desk displaying an About section crime scene with old certifications, red marks, and a cocktail napkin labeled synergy

Sunday Thought No. 4: Good About Sections Serve a Five-Course Meal

A useful About section has structure. I recommend five courses:

  1. The hook: What problem or belief makes the reader curious?
  2. The present: What do you do now, and who do you help?
  3. The proof: What experience, scale, or outcomes support the claim?
  4. The personality: Why do you care about this work?
  5. The invitation: What should the reader do next?

Bad Example

I am a passionate, results-driven hospitality professional with extensive experience in leadership, strategy, innovation, and business development. I am excited to announce that I help organizations achieve their goals through synergy and collaboration. Reach out if you’re interested in working together!

This says almost nothing.

It is a beige wall wearing a blazer.

Better Example

Restaurants are complicated businesses disguised as simple ones. Behind every menu is a web of purchasing, labor, technology, marketing, guest experience, and margin decisions.

I help restaurant owners and hospitality leaders connect those moving parts into systems that support profitable growth. My work spans brand strategy, digital experiences, POS and API integration, restaurant technology, and team leadership.

Over more than 26 years in the restaurant industry, I’ve worked across creative, technical, and strategic challenges, from launching digital platforms to helping operators make better decisions with data.

I’m especially interested in conversations about scalable restaurant systems, guest acquisition, and the practical question behind every expansion plan: can the operation carry the growth?

If you’re building, fixing, or scaling a restaurant brand, send me a message with the challenge you’re working through. I’ll bring questions, not a motivational poster.

That version has a point of view. It names the audience. It explains the work. It creates a human opening.

Boring wins. Boring pays. But specific beats boring every time.

Sunday Thought No. 5: A Restaurant Leader’s About-Section Checklist

Here is the checklist I keep behind the bar.

The 10-minute profile audit

  • Does the first sentence create curiosity?
  • Is the section written in first person?
  • Can a stranger tell what the person actually does?
  • Is the target audience named?
  • Are there three to five relevant industry keywords?
  • Is there at least one measurable proof point?
  • Are the paragraphs short enough for mobile reading?
  • Has generic language been removed?
  • Is there a real personality detail?
  • Does the call to action explain what conversation is welcome?

For restaurant owners, the proof point might be:

  • Number of locations supported
  • Years in the industry
  • Revenue or guest-growth outcomes
  • Technology platforms integrated
  • Teams led
  • Markets entered
  • Successful openings or turnarounds

Don’t claim to be a “top 100 independent restaurants” expert unless you can explain what that means. Don’t sprinkle in “restaurant finder.com” because somebody told you search engines like random phrases. Don’t mention why do restaurants fail unless you’re prepared to discuss operations, cash flow, labor, positioning, and execution.

And please don’t list tip management software, video analytics for restaurants, or group purchasing organizations food service as if they’re personality traits.

Context, people. Context.

A chef and restaurant owner assembling a LinkedIn About section as a five-course tasting menu in a professional test kitchen

Two Templates I Would Like to See More Often

Template 1: Restaurant Owner or Operator

I build restaurant experiences that are designed to work in the real world, not just look good in a pitch deck.

I lead [restaurant/concept/company] with a focus on [guest experience, operational consistency, profitable growth, or another clear priority]. Our team serves [audience/market] through [concept, number of locations, or service model].

My work sits at the intersection of [operations], [people], and [technology]. I’m particularly focused on [specific challenge or opportunity], and I’ve helped achieve [measurable result].

I’m always interested in connecting with restaurant leaders, hospitality partners, and operators who are working on better ways to [specific outcome].

Message me if you’re navigating [specific problem]. I’m happy to compare notes.

Template 2: Hospitality Consultant or Technology Leader

Restaurant growth gets difficult when the systems behind the guest experience can’t keep up.

I help [restaurant owners/multi-unit operators/hospitality brands] solve [specific operational or strategic problem] through [services, expertise, or technology].

My background includes [years, industries, platforms, or specialties]. Recent work has included [specific project or result], with a focus on [margin, speed, retention, conversion, scalability, or guest satisfaction].

I care about practical solutions: tools that teams actually use, data that leaders can act on, and strategies that survive Friday night.

Connect with me if you’re working through [specific challenge]. The best conversations usually start with the messy version of the problem.

That last line matters.

Nobody needs another polished profile floating above reality like a balloon at a trade show. Restaurant people know the messy version is where the truth lives.

My Closing Monologue, Before Someone Clicks Away

I don’t need to be famous.

I don’t need millions of views.

I would simply like someone to read me all the way to the end and send a message that isn’t a sales pitch disguised as a compliment.

Something like:

“I saw your profile and I’m wrestling with a restaurant systems problem. Can I ask you a question?”

That would be lovely.

The headshot gets clicked. The banner gets admired. The headline gets searched.

But I’m still here: the long-form witness, the career bartender, the neglected memoirist with a blinking cursor and a grudge against “synergy.”

Rewrite me once in a while.

Let me finish a sentence.

And for the love of hospitality, put the good stuff before See more.

Tags: Robert Kuypers, Robert William Kuypers, William Kuypers, Rob Kuypers

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  • Named keywords: restaurant systems pro; why do restaurants fail; tip management software; video analytics for restaurants; group purchasing organizations food service; restaurant finder.com; top 100 independent restaurants; Robert Kuypers; Kuypers Creative
  • Suggested meta title: LinkedIn About Section Advice for Restaurant Leaders | Kuypers Creative
  • Suggested meta description: A funny, practical guide to writing a stronger LinkedIn About section, with restaurant and hospitality examples, templates, profile crimes, and useful SEO advice.
  • Suggested URL slug: linkedin-about-section-restaurant-leaders
  • Suggested hashtags: #LinkedInTips #LinkedInProfile #RestaurantLeadership #HospitalityLeadership #RestaurantConsulting #RestaurantGrowth #RestaurantTechnology #PersonalBranding #Foodservice #KuypersCreative

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